The Exasperated Show Goer

by patricktmcnamara

“Oh My Rockness, which shows are you most excited for this week?”

“Shows? No. No. That’s for you media guys. Shows. You media guys with your geocites and your hotfiles and your 2nd life, 3rd life, 4th life, 8th life, you media guys use your webs and you go all up on your blobs and want to make a nothing story a something story. Shows? Why do you come asking me about shows? So you can go on your FaceSpaces and your Tweeters and write whatever it is you write about an issue that we will solve behind closed doors? That’s for our own house. Don’t sniff on your neighbor’s lawn! I’m a grown man. This is a clubhouse of grown men. And what had happened in this clubhouse, whatever it is that had happened if it even did happen, is between grown men. Not you media guys. No. No. You media guys get up all on your comment posts and climb up on your lampposts and soap dishes and box cars and you go to your beauty parlors and your bowling alleys and you make up a little story about shows so you all can get paid. Come in here talking about shows? This is a team. Do you see an S-H-O or W in team? Do you see it? No. So stop sniffin’ in your neighbor’s dog’s outhouse! Stay inside your own yard and tend to your own crops! Manage your own carrots and your own beets and worry about your own weeds! Shows. You come in here and talk to a grown man about shows… fine, you want a story? Those See Them Jay shows look good. We’d go to those. There. There’s your story about nothin’ outta somethin’ that’s somethin’ having to do with nothin'”