by patricktmcnamara

Wow. We’ve been getting SO many requests lately for an Oh My Rockness “app.” And while we’re certainly flattered there’s that much interest, unfortunately we’re not really taking on any new apprentices these days. Please don’t take it personally. It’s just that we already have this apprentice who started 7 years ago (gee, he must around 9 now) and when he’s not in his cage, or racking up bill after bill for his stale breadcrmbs, he does fairly decent data entry work for us (although the only band he ever seems to list is “HELP ME HELP ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME”… guess that band must have a really cool new sound or something).

Wait, what? What’s that? Oh. For serious? Well, this is certainly embarrassing. Our Rockness partner just whispered to us that “app” actually stands for ” appetizer.” Oops! Well, that certainly changes things for the better. OF COURSE we can create a Rockness appetizer for you! Actually, that’s been a dream of ours for quite some time. Allow us to set the table for you with four delicious words: Fried Peanut Butter Poppers. It’s like the jalapeno kind but with… get this… peanut butter instead of… get this… jalapenos. Did your taste buds just die in our arms tonight?

Oh, there’s just one sticking point though: how would we deliver this “app” to you from our Inter Site? Let’s see… maybe when you… go to our free summer shows list…or our Twitter even… or My Rockness… yeah, that’s it… we’ll have one of those technically integrated wedgies (oh… our Rockness partner just whispered they’re actually called “midgets”) for the Netpage that says “Get Rockness App” and when you click it with your mice… while also saying “ZAP IT” real loud to your screen… a warm Fried Peanut Butter Popper would eject from your… floppy drive! Tah-Dah!

Wow, we just let you in on the inner mind workings of a super smart live music web blob. Your welcome (Rockness partner just whispered that it’s actually “you’re welcome,” not “your welcome.” Sorry partner, but your wrong on this one….. your so wrong… but don’t worry, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.)