Show Etiquette Part Deux

by patricktmcnamara

1.) Venue sound guys are also DJs. And yes, they take requests. Approach them at your leisure, but it’s best to do it when the band is sound checking because that’s when sound guys have nothing to do.

2.) Earplugs are for losers. You should absolutely never, ever wear them at a show. Not only do these barely perceptible cushy things look 1000% lame to ear hole watchers, but furthermore no medical study has EVER shown that regular exposure to extremely loud sounds in a small room has EVER affected one’s longterm ability to “hear.” EVER.

3.) If you can’t hear what the person standing next to you is saying to you mid-song, simply nod and smile… just nod and smile. (Legal disclaimer: this MAY lead to a kidney donation or having to read your friend’s novel.)

4.) At some venues, unisex communal bathrooms have been deemed “alt.” The coolest thing to do should you find yourself with strangers in a unisex communal bathroom at a show is to giggle uncontrollably until you finish your “business.”

5.) Wearing deodorant to a sold-out show “kills the buzz.” Don’t do it. If you absolutely have to put something under your arms try gently used cheesecloth.

6.) Know the words to the song? Sing along! Not entirely sure you know the words to the song? Sing along!

7.) If you go “solo” to a show – try “accidentally” spilling beer all over the most attractive person you can find. It’s a great “icebreaker” and you’ll laugh about it in bed later that night.

8.) If you’re really into a song, try to knock your neighbors off their feet. This friendly act is called “moshing” and is mostly done during “ballads.”

9.) In a band yourself? Great! Bring your band’s stickers and put them all over the venue’s bathroom walls. This is the quickest way to get “signed.”

10.) Did you get a festival badge? Great! Wear that badge around your neck everywhere. At all times. Forever.